Tuesday, June 25, 2013

So, What Now?: The "Advice" of Others. Also, Cheat Week.

Hello friends!

At long last, the time has come and gone. My first show of the summer, Urinetown: The Musical closed after a great run, and my initial 9 week paleo vegan experiment came to an end just over a week ago. In that time frame, I saw a more drastic change in my appearance and physical well-being than I can ever remember. Remember a few weeks ago when I said that I'd finally hit 185 lbs, which was the lowest I thought I could ever possibly be? Well, last weekend when I stepped on the scale for my final weigh-in of the experiment, I was a bit surprised. The number read 180, which meant a total loss of 20 lbs over the past 2+ months! I'm extremely happy with where I'm at now, and I know that there's still work left to do. However, some seem to disagree.

I've actually had some people, friends and family alike, tell me that they think I've lost TOO much weight, and that on stage at the show, I looked too skinny. First of all, the costuming I wore for the show was much bigger and baggier than the clothing that I wear day-to-day, so that would explain why the clothes appeared to swallow me on stage. But I got to thinking about the bigger issue at hand. Is this something common that people go through who are trying to improve their well-being through weight loss and healthier eating? It's sort of an odd psychological one-two punch. First people tell you "you look so good!" but then immediately follow it with "you don't need to lose any more". To be honest, it can be quite frustrating (borderline infuriating) when everyone else in the world seems to think that they know what's best for you better than you know yourself. I actually did a bit of research to see how common this phenomenon was. One blogger, Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, took on this exact topic in a posting from a few years ago on his blog Weighty Matters (he's got some great content). He discusses how this phenomenon occurs in relation to starting weight. In his experience, similar comments begin at around a 15-20% weight loss. This is obviously affected by starting weight, but he states that "as an anecdotal rule, if your starting weight is less than 250lbs and you lose more than 20% of your starting weight, somebody will tell you to stop. They'll often even do so despite the fact that you may still want to lose more weight and may still have a significant amount of medical risk associated with your weight. Sometimes they'll even come right out and say you look bad." I've been receiving these comments, and I've actually only lost about 10% of my starting weight in this experiment. Granted, if we look back to my heaviest point in 2008, I've lost about 25-30% of my weight then, so people who've known me longer and remember me that way may see it as being more drastic. He attributes this to two theories of why it happens. The first, which he acknowledges is generally unlikely in most cases, is jealousy. The second, which he feels may be more likely a culprit, is the fact that people subconsciously associate dramatic weight loss with serious illnesses. It may be "hardwired" in us, as he puts it, from an evolutionary standpoint to recognize it as such, or it may simply bring to mind memories of seeing a loved one wasting away in their final days. Regardless, there's not really much research out there on this topic, but I agree with Dr. Freedhoff that this would be a fascinating topic of study. I think it would also be interesting to see how regional geography affects people's perception of how much weight loss is too much, particularly in regions like the American South where obesity is more commonplace.

Another site, Cracked.com, takes a decidedly more cynical (albeit fairly realistic) view of The 8 People Who Will Ruin Your Attempt to Lose Weight. They describe some of the "well-meaning monsters" that many people encounter when trying to lose weight. Among them are those who've seen some TV episode or infomercial and suddenly become experts on the science of weight loss without fully understanding what it is they've seen and heard. Also included are individuals who are a bit too supportive about body image and try to tell us that whatever weight we're at, even if it is slightly above where we should be, is perfectly healthy, even when we know it's a problem that needs to be addressed. The article also takes on people who undermine and demean our diet and fitness routines, and even people who don't intend to sabotage our plans, like family members who want us to join them in meals but are not (and will not be) following our same eating strategy. There's also a mention of zombies at the end of the list, but you can ignore that one; this is a list from Cracked, after all.

As for my personal view on this, my response to people telling me that I should stop losing weight depends entirely on my relationship with them and the tone of their comment. Those who've said it to me in a tone that I interpreted as condescending, or as though I didn't know/understand what I was doing, were met with a response to the tune of "I know what's best for me and I'll decide for myself what I'm going to do". The same goes for people who've tried to tell me how I should start eating going forward, as though I've not put any thought into my plans (more on this subject in a bit). On the other hand, with those who've made the comments more respectfully, casually, or even jokingly, I've been able to just brush it off, and remind them that I still have some personal goals I've yet to meet, and they seem to understand and leave it alone.

My weight and height at the end of the experiment equaled out to a BMI (body mass index) of 23.1, which falls in the healthy weight range of 18.5-24.99. When I started, I was at 25.7, classified as overweight (25.0-29.99). After I graduated from college, I was classified as obese since my BMI was definitely over 30. Granted, BMI is not always the best gauge for a healthy weight since there are a number of other factors at play besides just height and weight, but it can give a ballpark figure of what a healthy weight for each individual could be. The bottom territory for "healthy weight" for a 6'2" male is 144 lbs. No one needs to worry about me ever dropping that low, because I just don't believe my physical structure would even allow that to be a possibility. BMI does not account for more muscle mass or larger bone structure. It can actually be significantly skewed when individuals possess a high level of muscle mass but a low percentage of body fat. The weight source (fat vs. muscle) is not differentiated in the BMI equation. Similarly, that's why the number on the scale isn't always the best indicator of how each person is progressing in terms of their own individual goals. You should also look at inches lost, the way your clothes fit, your energy levels, etc. The ultimate indicator (in my personal opinion) is how you feel inside, and how happy you are with what you see in the mirror. This can also be reflected in other ways. Take the awesome caricature drawing made by Ryan Gray, one of my Urinetown castmates, of all of the characters and crew from the show. My character is the one pictured in the lower center with his fist in the air.
AMAZING artwork by Ryan Gray
This may sound kind of silly to some people, but to be drawn on the page as a "skinnier" person was actually somewhat of an affirming moment for me. It showed me that the changes I've made and felt are real and are being noticed by others. It just made me feel good about me. Sometimes the little things, whether it be a compliment or some other action, can be just what someone needs to see or hear to let them know they're on the way to meeting their goals.

That's what it really all comes down to: personal goals. I've talked at length in previous posts about personal goals that I've set for myself and met, but I'm by no means "finished". Everyone who's ever struggled physically or mentally with their weight or appearance has an idea in their head of what they'd like to be. My progress over the course of this experiment has shown me that perhaps I even underestimated myself in what I could achieve. The worst thing you could do for someone who is working toward their own personal goals is to tell them to stop because of what YOU think they should look like. You're not on their journey. You can't read their mind. You don't know how they see themselves. You don't know how they feel. Your responsibility to them as a friend or family member is to be supportive, and for me, comments like "how much longer are you going to keep this up?" or "you don't need to lose any more weight" and "why don't you just start eating what you want?" don't feel helpful or supportive. "Eating what I want" is what got me to the place where I was at the start of this mess.

DISCLAIMER: Let me be perfectly clear. My comments in the previous paragraph pertain to those individuals who are attempting to lose weight or change their appearance through approaches like a healthy, balanced diet and regular, moderate exercise. This does not apply to those individuals who are doing so through unhealthy, extreme means or those who may be suffering from an eating disorder. If you suspect that a loved one may be suffering from such a condition, it is important to talk with them in a loving, non-confrontational way, and consult with a professional, if need be, to get them the help they need.

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about what happened last week for the first full week after my experiment was over. I had been pondering for some time what I was going to do at the conclusion of my 9 weeks, and after considering some different options, I decided to give myself one full cheat week. That is, an entire week with zero, none, absolutely no restrictions whatsoever on what I could eat. This would give me the chance to indulge on those foods that I'd been craving for weeks but couldn't have, and a way to let loose and actually be able to fully enjoy a meal without worrying what was in it. Not only did I lift my paleo restrictions, but I also lifted my vegan/vegetarian restrictions as well, so I was able to satisfy some cravings that I'd had for well over a year since being a regular meat eater.

The very first thing I ate after the official end of the experiment was a fresco style bean burrito from Taco Bell just after midnight on Sunday (or Monday technically I guess) while I was still hanging out with friends from the show after we'd finished striking (disassembling) the set. Not especially adventurous, but I figured this was a pretty safe option for my first venture back into an unrestricted world of food. But on Monday, a weird thing happened. I was trying to think of something to eat for lunch, but my brain was still so wrapped in my previous way of thinking that I think the only thing I ate were maybe some tater tots from Sonic or something like that, which weren't really breaking any of my old rules. Tuesday, however, was a day that I'd been waiting on for quite some time. It was my day to finally eat Chinese food for the first time in over two months. I met my mother and my friend Jessica at my favorite Chinese restaurant of all, Shanghai in downtown Bristol. I was reminded of why it was my favorite when we sat down, and even after having not been there in over 9 weeks (remember my last meal before starting the experiment was from there) the waitress still remembered exactly what I ordered, Szechuan style tofu and hot and sour soup. I was in food heaven, and it only continued from there. Instead of just telling you about all I ate during cheat week, here are some photo highlights of the culinary debauchery:


Magical Mystery Tour pizza from Mellow Mushroom
Before and after of my pork bbq platter from Ridgewood Barbecue
Vanilla and cheesecake yogurt w/ oreos, strawberries, white chocolate chips, and cookie dough from Sweet Frog in Bristol. No shame.
The masterpiece known as the grilled tofu sandwich from Mid City Grill
Breakfast with a view: Pal's gravy biscuit eaten at South Holston Lake
One azado and chorizo and one lengua taco from Tacos El Pariente in Johnson City
Regular old oatmeal drizzled with real maple syrup and some cinnamon
So, I ate at Shanghai twice last week. But seriously, all this for just $10!
Finally, pollo a la parrilla with rice, beans, and one of my biggest cravings, chips and salsa at Casa Mexicana in Bristol
As you can tell, I left no craving or desire unsatisfied. Did I pay a price for it? Oh you bet I did. I guess I had become so accustomed to eating smaller meals that after nearly every one of these endeavors I felt nothing short of miserable simply because of the quantity and nature of the food I'd consumed. Also, my number on the scale shot back up over the week. Literally, the number was 10 pounds heavier than the prior week! This can most likely be attributed, however, to the fact that I'd gone from super low carb intake to ingesting bread, tortillas, rice, chips, gravy, etc. all in one week. This was bound to result in some mega water retention, which is typically associated with diets higher in carbohydrates (this could be a topic for a future blog post). The only reason I'm not completely freaking out about the weight gain is that I know it will drop back off after a few days. That brings me to this point. What happens how?

After indulging myself last week, I decided to pick back up on the same paleo vegan dietary regimen that my experiment was based on, effective yesterday. Like I said before, I don't know what my next goal is going to be in terms of weight or appearance, because I don't know what my limits are yet. In fact, I plan on stretching it out even further than the initial experiment. My new goal date is going to be Sunday, September 29th, the day after the Cabernet Cabaret fundraising event, and the day before my mother's <age omitted> birthday. That's 14 weeks. That being said, I will allow myself to incorporate a paleo cheat day, at most, one day a month that I'll reserve for special occasions (my dad's <age also omitted> birthday in July, for example), but I will be sticking to the vegan side of things even on those cheat days. I also plan on recommitting myself to the fitness aspect of my plan as well. I've missed spin class for two weeks in a row now, and I HATE it. I can definitely tell my energy levels have dropped since I've been missing that and other workouts.

What all this means is that you don't have to worry about ThePaleoVeg going anywhere! I'll still be here each week with updates on what's going on in my life, what I'm eating, and most importantly, a continuation of where I'm at on my personal journey toward becoming a better, healthier me. So, until next week...

Much love to you all,

Jon

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